Sample from "Water Flows Under Doors," Chapter 11 - Empty

It's been a long time since I've re-read anything from "Water Flows Under Doors," the 1st novel I ever wrote but recently, an email I received from a reader made me revisit those chapters I wrote so long ago. as I read the pages that I wrote in the wee hours of the night in my bedroom, it brought back the way I felt back then, which is a beautiful thing. I thought I would share a small part of the book now with those who might not have read it yet. 

“Make sure you keep in touch!  Call,” his father shouted as Tyler walked towards the subway.

“Yeah, I will,” he answered before he finally put his headphones on and walked away.  Although the air was chilly, the sun beat down on him and the wind didn’t seem so cold.  Tyler was surprised to see how few people were on the streets and it reminded him of his walk a few nights earlier.  Only when he got close to the train station did he see a good deal of people.  There were many stores located near the subway that sold almost everything so he was guaranteed to see crowds there.  There were old women who shuffled up and down, from store to store, picking up this and that as they went about their daily business.  Now and then a patrol car would drive slowly alongside any pedestrian who looked suspicious.  Teenagers hid marijuana or liquor if the police passed too slowly or too close.  The air was even different there.  So much movement and activity constantly disturbed its calm so the air itself seemed uneasy and turbulent. 

When Tyler reached the subway entrance, the air changed again.  It became stuffy and almost stifling.  He descended into the station and once again, he felt himself caught in a wave of human bodies.  So many footfalls together made the stairs tremble slightly and Tyler could feel the people who rushed down the stairs behind him as he struggled to keep up with those in front.  As they all reached the bottom of the stairs they piled together like liquid in the narrow end of a funnel.  Amidst all the chaos, the clicking sound of the turnstiles formed a rhythmic pattern as endless people passed through them.  As Tyler listened, the pounding of shuffling feet, scattered and broken conversations, and the sound of the turnstiles all formed a turbulent symphony until he reached the subway platform.  All was silent there as if everyone and everything was holding their breath.  Once everyone settled into their position to sit or stand to wait for the train, nothing stirred.  Tyler had always found that stillness to be unnerving.  He began to pace back and forth to deliberately break the unnatural calm that lay on him like a heavy, itchy blanket.

Just then, a slight breeze began to stir as the train approached the station.  Rats, mice and all kinds of miscellaneous vermin scurried off the tracks in search of hiding places.  Those who were seated stood up and those that were already standing moved closer to the edge of the platform.  Everyone’s eyes were fixed on the cyclopean eye of the train as it crawled in from the dim light of the tunnel.  It screeched like a banshee and hissed before it came to a complete stop.  Its doors opened and people poured in like water into a sinking ship.  Tyler wasn’t fortunate enough to get a seat so he stood with his back against the doors opposite the ones he came through.  The conductor inaudibly announced the next stop before the train lurched forward and plunged itself back into the darkness of the tunnel.  Tyler planted his feet firmly and braced himself as best he could because, every space on the pole was occupied by the hands of strangers.

Tyler was so tired that, although he was standing, the swaying of the train nearly rocked him to sleep.  The drive to the prison with Tracy had made him more tired than he thought and sleep was what he longed for.  For a minute he regretted not taking his father’s offer to drop him home but he wasn’t in the mood for his father’s company.  He still couldn’t believe he had worked up enough nerve and put aside enough pride to ask his father to borrow the jeep.  It was just hint of how much he had started to feel Tracy.  She had begun to slowly seep into his bones.  Whether it was just lust or something more he wasn’t sure but he knew that whatever it was, it was strong enough to make him ask a favor of the father he tried to not have any dealings with.  Lately, he thought of Deborah less and he knew that Tracy was solely responsible for that.  She had made him doubt how much he had really loved Deborah if she could have been stricken from his thoughts so easily. 

An assortment of miscellaneous women got on or off the train but none held Tyler’s attention the way Tracy did.  Just like Deborah, many of the women he saw on the way home would be considered by most to be prettier than Tracy but to his eyes, there was a deeper beauty to her, unexplainable by words.  A few weeks ago he would have been bewitched by all the pretty eyes and sexy, painted lips but they had less power over him now.  The thin scar on Tracy’s cheek as well as the deep sadness that lay far away in her eyes had taken him.  To look at her was not like looking at a pretty flower in bloom.  It was more like looking at a tree sapling and being awed by the knowledge of how great that tree would grow to become.  Although he lusted for Tracy, Tyler was suddenly overcome by an odd feeling of respect for Remy.  He never saw Remy as anything more than what he appeared to be; a dragon laying siege to a village.  He never saw Remy as a man who possessed the sight to notice the haunting beauty of Tracy clearly enough to claim it for anything more than his own sexual satisfaction.  He wondered if Remy saw and felt the same things in Tracy that he did.

Tyler had been so immersed in thought and so close to sleep that he hadn’t noticed that the train wasn’t as crowded as before. A good deal of seats had become vacant.  He slumped down in the nearest one and wearily leaned his head back.  The lights in the ceiling seemed extremely bright for his exhausted eyes so he shut them tight and tried to take a quick nap.  He yearned for the uneven mattress of his sofa bed as opposed to the rigid subway seat.  His eyelids were heavier than sandbags and soon, Tyler nodded off.  The sleep that settled on him was so deep that he soon began to dream.  He dreamed that he was sitting with Tracy on the roof of their building and as they spoke to one another, whatever words they exchanged filled up the emptiness he felt in the pit of his stomach.  Just as they were about to kiss in the dream, he woke up abruptly and fortunately, a station away from his own stop.  To his dismay, the details of the dream were too vague and hazy for him to recall.  All that remained was Tracy’s face, bright and smiling because of whatever he had said to her in the dream.  He was sorry he couldn’t remember their conversation.  Besides sleep, he desired nothing more than to make her smile again.  He wished he could recall whatever words poured out of him and into her heart to ease her suffering.

The train pulled into his stop and as Tyler got off, he felt more tired than when he first sat down.  His legs felt heavy and his mind heavier.  He had to exert a great effort just to climb the stairs.  He gripped the railing all the way up as he marched into the daylight.  When he stepped into the sun, the air was rich and it felt as if God had swept away the city smog.  No clouds blocked the sun and that forced Tyler to squint.  His eyes had to once again grow accustomed to the change from the artificial light below.  He trooped through the streets on his way home like a zombie; ready to collapse at any moment.  The hard concrete even looked comfortable enough for him to lie down on.  For a fraction of a second he even entertained the thought of resting his body on the much-walked-upon ground beneath his feet.  Just as he thought he would fall out, he finally reached the last block before his own.  He rounded the last corner but as he did, his heart stopped.

Copyright © 2009 Keith Kareem Williams.

All rights reserved

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON