Writer Wednesday featuring Phoenix C. Brown

Author Phoenix C. Brown

Good afternoon folks and happy Hump Day. Well, it's time for another "Writer's Wednesday" feature and this week, I have the pleasure of introducing you to an amazingly gifted author, my good friend Phoenix C Brown. If you haven't read her work yet, take my word for it, you definitely SHOULD. I love the heart and soul of her words.

Author bio:

Phoenix C. Brown came onto the scene in 2011 with her debut novel, Beautifully Imperfect. Readers fell in love with the main characters Malik & Rebecca and they begged for a sequel. Never one to disappoint; she released All That Matters in the End in 2012. Her readers have deemed her the "Mary J. Blige" of the book world and that's a badge she wears proudly. Anyone who has struggled to keep a relationship, experienced the joy and pain that love can bring and the renewing of oneself through life lessons... Will enjoy Phoenix's work. Her way of telling a story is so relatable that the reader will often times see themselves or others in the characters she writes about. Her spellbinding way of pulling the reader in will have you feeling like you are eavesdropping on personal conversations and she will have you laughing, crying and cursing with every page. Phoenix lists Eric Jerome Dickey, Carl Weber, Omar Tyree, Terry McMillan and the late E. Lynn Harris as influences on her writing. Her goal is to take you on an emotional ride while still delivering an entertaining, relatable story. When she isn't giving in to the characters in her head she spends her free time with her husband and two kids.

Amazon: Books by Phoenix

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Here's the 1st chapter from her latest release, "Back to Basics." Enjoy...

ChaPter 1

“love in this club”

        Have you ever had a moment where you wished you had the ability to rewind time and go Back to the Future like in the 80’s movie? A moment where you wished you didn’t open your big mouth because it would lead you somewhere you didn’t want to go.  Well that was me and this was my moment. When I mentioned to my cousin, Bianca and my best friend, Sarai that I wanted to get out and meet new people, the last thing I expected was to end up here.

            After a few bottles of wine, they persuaded me to get dressed and come with them to this hole in the wall masquerading as a night club. I enjoyed clubs just not the smoke machine, teeny-bopper types that my friends liked to frequent. I preferred spoken word or jazz clubs because not only did it give me the chance to relax but it also allowed me the opportunity to appreciate the local talent. The nonsense blasting through the speakers had my nerves on edge. I wouldn’t have been out on that dance floor even if I hadn’t volunteered to be the purse watcher. The DJ had everyone looking like they were having some kind of synchronized seizure as he shouted out instructions. I checked my phone to see how much longer I would be subjected to this torture. I had promised them a few hours and the sand in my mental hourglass was almost out.

            “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

            The cologne of the man assaulted my nostrils before he came into view. Whatever it was he was wearing was definitely the knock off version. I tried not to gag from the pungent smell lingering in the air. A group of young women passed by the booth talking loudly and giggling. Their dresses barely covered the cusp of their butts as they tried to balance in heels higher than their morals. I was praying he would notice them and direct his attention their way.

            “I thought that would have at least put a smile on your pretty face.”

            The man standing in front of me was old enough to be a friend of my dad’s. I pulled at my dress trying unsuccessfully to cover my cleavage. The way he was staring at me was making me uncomfortable. I had heard horror stories lately of men attacking women who didn’t give them the time of day. I figured it would be easier to play along with the man than to insult him. I counted to ten and put a smile on my face.

            “Sorry, this really isn’t my scene.”

            “That’s because you’re sitting here looking like a Beyoncé searching for her Jay Z. Why don’t you let me take you out on that dance floor and show ya what I can do?”

            “Thanks, but I promised my friends I’d watch their purses.”  I waved my hand at the pile sitting next to me. “They should be coming back soon.”

            He scanned the dance floor. “I don’t see anyone coming off that floor anytime soon, Sugar. Why don’t you let me keep you company?”

            He could have easily been mistaken for one of the pimps out of the Foxy Brown movies my dad watched religiously every Saturday. His salt and pepper hair was pulled back in a ponytail and he had the audacity to have two gold teeth in his mouth. This was the story of my life. While Bianca and Sarai were grooving with the Denzel Washington’s and Omari Hardwick’s, I was trapped talking to the Morgan Freeman’s of the world. I shut my eyes wishing I could blink myself away like Jeannie from the television show I Dream of Jeannie.

            “I appreciate the offer but…”  The lyrics to Never Gonna Get It by En Vogue popped into my head.

            “Sorry it took me so long.”

            I twisted in my seat to see who the hand on my shoulder belonged to. Whoever it was had impeccable timing since the older man didn’t seem to want to take no for an answer.

            “How ya doing, Sir?” My rescuer asked.

            “I’m great but I’d be even better if you tell me this isn’t your prized possession.” The look in his eyes made me squirm.

            “Sorry to ruin your night but yes, she’s my baby.”

            “You better be careful leaving good-looking young thangs like this by themselves. I almost snatched her from you.” He tipped an imaginary hat at me. “You two enjoy your evening.”    I exhaled a sigh of relief as he walked off in search of his next target.

            “I hope you don’t mind but it looked like you needed to be saved.”

            The gentleman sat down across from me. His accent and the dimple in his right cheek caught my attention. In the back of my mind I was forming the words to say thank you but nothing was coming out of my mouth. I felt dumb but it was probably a good thing that my mouth wasn’t cooperating. The inappropriate thoughts that were running through my mind would have definitely escaped.

            “My bad. Did I mess up your action for the night? I can always call him back over here.” He pretended to wave to the man who had made his way to the middle of the dance floor.

            “No no no.” I touched his arm. “I’m sorry. I appreciate the help.” I extended my hand to him. “I’m Kenya.”

            “Nice to meet you, Kenya. I’m Kevin.” He raised his finger and the waiter stopped at our table. “Can I please have a gin and tonic?” He turned to me. “What are you drinking?”

            “A Long Island Iced Tea.”

            “And another Long Island Iced Tea for the lady.”  He handed the waiter some money and turned his attention back to me. “So Kenya, why are you not out there getting your groove on?”

            “I’ve chosen to be the purse watcher for the evening.”

            I pretended to look at the television above his head but I was really checking him out; the man was a walking billboard for sexy. He had the type of face and body that would stop any woman in her tracks. The flashing lights from the club cast shadows on his chocolate brown skin and I found myself wanting to trace those shadows with my fingertips. I tried to stop staring but he was throwing all kinds of sexy and I wanted to catch every bit of it. I cleared my throat and looked out over the dance floor expecting an infuriated woman to come and claim her man at any second. There was no way this guy was single.

            “Oh so you were serious. I thought that was an excuse to avoid that.” He motioned to the dance floor where the man was dancing by himself off beat. “Would you mind if I keep you company while you wait?”

            “Not at all,” I responded a little too quickly. “You still have a drink coming, right?” I smiled.

            “I sure do.” He leaned forward. “It’s been awhile since I had to do this. Is this the part where we make small talk?”

            “You would know more than I would.  I’m only here for those two.” I pointed to where my two friends were participating in the cupid shuffle.

            “Well, I guess we will have to figure it out together.” He smiled.

            Oh my God, his smile was beautiful.  His teeth were so white that I expected to see a little twinkle appear like in the teeth whitening commercials. I hated to sound like a cliché but the man literally had taken my breath away.

            The waitress brought our beverages and I noticed her slip Kevin a piece of paper. I checked my cellphone and saw it was only midnight. I had another hour or so of this torture. I was used to being invisible in the eyes of others but that was downright rude. 

            “I’ll be right back.” Kevin took the napkin the waitress handed him and headed over to the bar. Two females converged on him immediately. I stared at the women who most would describe as sexy but I thought looked sleazy. The little black dress was no longer in as it had been replaced by dresses with strategic cutouts designed to cover the intimate areas of women. Unfortunately for the one rubbing up against Kevin, her dress was too small and it wasn’t covering her areas at all. I never would understand why women thought they would catch a man dressed that way. I heard so many women complain about not being able to find a good man. I could see why. The bait they were using was attracting the bottom feeders.

            “Do you have a tissue? That dance floor feels like a sauna.”

Sarai settled in the seat next to me and gestured towards the bar. “What’s up with that guy? I saw you two over here looking cozy.” 

            Even drenched in sweat, Sarai was one of the most beautiful women in the club. Her cocoa colored skin was flawless and the best thing about her was her personality was, too. She was a tough person to crack but once you did she was the sweetest person you’d ever meet. Through every good and bad moment of my life she had been right by my side. I appreciated her friendship because of her ability to give it to you straight no chaser. If you asked her opinion you were going to get it. Sarai didn’t believe in sugar coating anything. It was because of that honesty that her and Bianca had a hard time getting along. I had to admit there were a few times I walked away bruised from her honesty but I knew it was always coming from a good place.

            “Answer me, Chick.” She tapped her fingernail on the tabletop.

            “His name is Kevin. He rescued me from that fiasco.” I motioned to the dance floor and stifled a laugh as Bianca got cornered by the oldie trying to be a goodie.

            “And…” Sarai looked over in his direction. “Did you give him your number?

            “No, I didn’t.” I looked down at my glass. “Every person that’s trying to be helpful isn’t looking for a hookup, Sarai.” I glanced at the bar and saw him and the waitress talking. She looked perturbed and so did he.

            “You said you wanted to meet new people.” She shrugged. “He looks like a new person to me. That’s all I’m saying.”

            “I’m pretty sure I’m not his type. I’m trying to play college ball and you’re trying to bump me up to the pros.”

            “Okay, you keep messing around and you’ll be permanently on the bench.” She shook her head. “If he came over to help you out I’m sure he’s interested. I’ll be glad when you stop doing this to yourself.”

            “Doing what to myself? Being honest?”

            “I’m not doing this with you tonight. You need to get out of your own damn way.”

            I hated when Sarai and Bianca tried to give me the self-confidence talk. They would never understand how it felt to be the big girl in the group.  Advice was easy to give but until one of them walked a mile in my shoes, I wasn’t trying to hear it. Neither one of them had experienced the frustration of trying to hang at the mall with your friends but never coming home with anything. They would never understand how annoying it was to order food and feel like everyone was judging what they ate. I had worked hard to drop fifty pounds but in my mind, I still saw that woman who was a size 24, even if my jeans said I was a size 16.

            It would have been easier for me to mentally adjust if I wasn’t still considered a big girl by American standards. There had been many nights where men that looked like Kevin overlooked me for women that looked like the ones sashaying around the club.

            “Why do you guys look so serious?” Bianca slid in next to me, forcing me to scoot further into the booth. “Did you guys see that old guy? He had the nerves to ask me if I was taking applications for a sugar daddy.” She leaned over and rubbed her heel. “Are you two ready to go?”

            “Good evening, ladies.”

            “Well, hello handsome.” Bianca leaned forward showcasing her perky size C breasts. “Would you like to sit down and have a drink with us?”

            Kevin shook his head. “Actually, I was wondering if I could borrow your purse watcher. Are you off duty yet?”

            Bianca looked at Sarai and then at me. The look of surprise that flashed across her face was not lost on me. She was used to being the one getting all of the attention. Generally she was so I understood her confusion. My cousin was every woman’s nightmare and every man’s fantasy; her skin was blemish free, her body shaped like a coke bottle and her hair reached half way down her back with no weave or extensions needed. She was beautiful without makeup and gorgeous with it.

            “The purse watcher is officially off duty.”

            “Do you want to brave the dance floor with me?” He smiled that thousand watt smile.

            “I guess. I sort of owe you from earlier, huh?” I drank the rest of my Long Island Iced Tea and tried to get out on Bianca’s side, but she wasn’t budging. I had to scoot all the way around the booth where Sarai had stood up to let me out.

            I gave Bianca a dirty look and followed Kevin out onto the crowded dance floor. Beyoncé had all the women on the floor screaming “I woke up like this. I woke up like this” while the men gyrated behind them. I loved Beyoncé and I attempted to move along with the crowd but quickly remembered that dancing wasn’t my forte. I was more of a groover than a dancer. A groover was that person you could see dancing in their chair looking cool until they stood up. My upper body never coordinated correctly with my lower. Now, when I was in Zumba class, I was always on beat but this wasn’t Zumba and these heels were not my Nike Shox. As soon as Kevin pulled me into him, I felt self-conscious. I was hoping he couldn’t feel my spanx through my dress and I was praying that I didn’t fall. The heels seemed like a good idea when I was getting dressed but they definitely weren’t dancing shoes. The slippery surface of the floor had me feeling awkward and clumsy.

            “So, what was the deal with you and the waitress?”

            The DJ came over the sound system as John Legend’s song All of Me started to play.  “Here’s one for the lovers in the house. Pull her closer fellas and give her a night to remember.”

            The stubble from his goatee tickled my cheek as he leaned down and whispered in my ear. “I needed to explain to her how rudeness would never get her anywhere in life.” He pulled me closer. “I told her it wasn’t cool to disrespect you like that.”

            “Wow! You’ve just been my superhero all night.” I joked. “But seriously, thank you for being such a gentleman.” 

            I decided to take Sarai’s advice and enjoy the moment. It felt nice to feel his muscles tightening as he held me close to him.

            “Does your heart always beat this fast?” He murmured. “Or are you feeling what I’m feeling?”

            “I don’t know what you’re feeling,” I said so low that I was surprised when he responded.

            “I’m feeling that this dance shouldn’t be the last time I hold you.” He pulled away and looked down at me. “Can I see you again?”

            Any other time I would have allowed my insecurities to take over but this time…this time I wanted to not worry about tomorrow and live in the moment. The music stopped and the lights of the club came flooding on. He stared at me and I stared right back at him.

            “Tomorrow’s not promised.” I smiled. “Let’s see what the rest of the night brings us. The steady flow of liquor had kicked in and gave me liquid courage as my Dad called it.

            He hesitated and I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. Was this the moment when the lights come on at the club and you realize that lighting can make anybody look half decent? I bit down on my lip and stood there uncomfortably not sure what to do.

            “Sounds like a plan to me. Let your friends know that I got you for the rest of the night.” Kevin gestured towards the table where Bianca and Sarai were waiting for me. “I’ll meet you out front in ten minutes.” He walked off and I headed over to my girls.

            “It looks like you had a good ending to the night.” Sarai smiled

            “Actually, the night’s not over.” I picked up my purse and coat. “We’re going to hang out a little longer.”

            “What?” Bianca snorted. “Girl, you better stop tripping and take your butt home. Since when do you do booty calls?”

            “I wasn’t aware that there was a rule that said you were the only one allowed to do that.”

            “You’ve obviously had too much to drink. This isn’t like you at all.” Bianca brushed her hair out of her face and smiled down at me like she was talking to a child. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

            “Maybe you didn’t hear me. Should I text it to you instead?” I held up my cellphone and pretended to be typing a message.

            “See, that’s what I’m talking about.” Bianca rolled her eyes. “Who does stuff like that?”

            “Bye, Bianca.” I turned my back to her and hugged Sarai. “I’ll call you in the morning.”

            I walked away from the table before I followed through on my urge to curse Bianca out. Her fake concern had nothing to do with me and everything to do with her. Bianca was used to being the center of attention and even if it had been Sarai, she would have still had something to say. I wasn't going to let her make me second guess myself. She was right about one thing: This wasn’t something I normally would do but the opportunity rarely presented itself to me. I was going to take the night for what it was. No expectations.

            I entered the restroom and maneuvered around the other women doing last minute fixes on makeup and hair. The giggles and whispers buzzed around me as women discussed their next stop for the night. Once a mirror freed up, I rushed to it and pulled my lipstick out of my purse. I stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were slightly glazed and my face was flushed. I smiled at myself and winked. My weight loss had slimmed my face down considerably. The early morning cardio sessions had paid off in the form of revealing my hidden bone structure. I turned to the side and surveyed my figure in the full length mirror. My curves were there but I honed in on the areas that still needed more work. I readjusted my spanx which had started to fall. It was an instant reality check.

            “What are you doing, Kenya?” I shook my head and ran out of the bathroom only to collide into Kevin.

            “Hey, I was looking for you! You ready?”

            “I can't do this, Kevin. Thanks for the invite but I think I drank a little too much. I'm not a booty call type of woman.” I searched the club hoping that Sarai and Bianca hadn't left yet.

            “That's okay! I'm not a booty call type of man.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “I thought we could grab a bite to eat, that’s all. No pressure.”

            “Maybe some other time.” I searched my contacts for Sarai’s number. “I'm going to call my friend and have her come back to get me. I'm sorry for wasting your time.”

            People hustled around us getting last minute phone numbers and making plans to see each other again. He took my phone and began typing. He handed it back to me.

            “I saved my number so you have no excuse to not call me.” His smile was working its magic. “I'm in town for the rest of the weekend.”

            He disappeared into the crowd. I looked down at his number and replayed his words in my head. “I'm in town for the rest of the weekend.” I had nothing to lose. As my grandma used to say, “You only live once.”

            I pushed the send button below his number before I changed my mind. “You haven't left yet, have you?” I could hear horns honking in the background

            “No, I was almost to my car. Does this mean I can stop standing in the middle of the street and come get you?”

            “Yes, I’ll see you in the front.”

            I popped a peppermint in my mouth and walked outside. Even though winter was quickly approaching, I was still surprised by the rain blanketing the parking lot. My phone buzzed and Bianca’s face flashed across the screen. I sent her to voicemail. I was comfortable with my decision and I wasn’t going to let her talk me out of it. A black BMW pulled up in front and Kevin stepped out. He walked over to me and put his jacket over my head.

            “Your chariot awaits.” He led me to the car and opened the passenger door. I slid onto the leather seat and tried to control my shaking legs. For the first time in a long time I felt attractive. I looked out the window as he navigated the city streets. Kevin Nash from 102.3 KJLH was giving his love quote of the night.

            “I love his love quotes,” Kevin said and turned up the radio.

            “Why, because his name is Kevin?” I teased.

            “Ha, you have jokes,” he replied. “I tend to think they are reflective of what’s happening in my life a lot of the time. I actually save them.”

            “Really?” I felt the butterflies in my stomach awaken. “I do that as well but not with his. I copy the quotes from Being Mary Jane and save them in a journal.”

            “Wow, so we’re both weirdoes.” He laughed and pulled into the circular driveway of the Ritz Carlton. He drove up to the valet and cut the engine. “The restaurant here has the best sushi. Is this okay with you? If not, we can go somewhere else.”

            “This is fine.”

            I stepped out of the car and followed him through the massive glass doors into the lobby. The marble floor lit up like the tiles in Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean video.  The glass chandeliers glistened and reflected sparkly shadows onto the other patrons.

            “Kevin, I'm umm, I'm confused.” I pulled my hand from his. “Is this a joke or something?"

            “Why would you think this was a joke? I think you're beautiful and I like beautiful things.” He placed his finger under my chin and lifted my face up. “I don't know what tonight will bring. I do know that I would like to get to know you better. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll take you home."

            It was only dinner, I had nothing to lose. I took his hand and followed him to the elevator. As soon as we reached the 24th floor, we were met by a waiter that directed us to one of the booths next to the floor to ceiling windows. I slid in and tried to stop my leg from trembling as he slid in next to me. I surveyed my surroundings.

            The red leather booth we had been seated at faced out towards the skyscrapers that Los Angles was known for. The view was breathtaking but not as breathtaking as the man sitting next to me. Kevin carried himself in a way that exuded class. There was no denying he took good care of himself.

            “Would you like me to order for you? Or do you have an idea of what you want?”

            I hadn’t realized I had been staring at Kevin and not the menu in front of me. I was so lost in thought I hadn’t even seen the waiter approach us.

            “Umm sorry.” I stared at the menu ashamed that I had been caught admiring him like a teenager with a crush. “I’m not sure. Why don’t you go ahead and order for me?” I handed my menu to the waiter and sipped the water he had placed in front of me.

            “Have you ever had sushi?” He asked.

            I shook my head. “I tend to like my food cooked, not fresh out of the water.”

            “Are you feeling adventurous or do you want me to play it safe?”

            “I’m out of my comfort zone already so I might as well go all the way in.” I winked at him. “Handle your business, Sir.”

            “We’ll start with the Chinese Chicken Salad and then we will share the Crispy Shrimp and Crab and the Hamachi Crunch Roll.” He handed his menu to the waiter.

            “Trust me, after tonight you will love sushi.” He put his fingers to his lips and kissed them up to the sky. “It gets no better than this place.” He squeezed lemon into his water. “So tell me something about you, Kenya.”

            “I don’t like talking about me,” I said honestly. The only reason I was out tonight was to get my mind off of my problems. I didn’t want to sit here and pour them out to him. “Why don’t you tell me something about you instead?” The candlelight illuminated his face giving him a sexy glow.

            “I don’t think that’s fair but I’ll let you make that up to me later.”

            He leaned back into the booth and put his arms around the back of it. “I grew up in Brazil and moved out here with my dad when I was twelve. I’m a lawyer who defends the scum of the earth known as entertainers.” He chuckled. “Just kidding. I have some great clients. Thankfully, I work more on the transactional side of things instead of the litigation side.” He bit into his lemon. “Other than that, I like long romantic walks along the beach and taking pictures with puppies.”

            His sense of humor was on point. I loved that he was funny. Most men weren’t blessed with personality and good looks. The salad arrived and he doled some out onto my plate and then reached his hand out to me. I took it and he bowed his head and prayed.

            “Thank you heavenly father for blessing us with the opportunity to share a meal. May the food be nourishing to us both.”

            “Dig in.” He tapped my plate with his fork.

            Wow. A fine, funny praying man with money. I glanced around the hotel expecting to see Bianca or Sarai jump out with cameras and yell, “You’ve been punked.” My growling stomach made me do as he suggested and dig into my salad. The crisp wontons melted in my mouth.

            “This is so good.” I took another bite and closed my eyes to savor the flavor. I was going to have to recreate the dressing for the next time the girls and I had our Netflix night at Sarai’s house.

            “See, I know a little something about food.” He moved his water glass over as the waiter set the two plates of sushi down at the table. “So, are you still feeling adventurous?”

            “I think so.”

            Sarai was going to die when told her I actually tried sushi. She had been begging me to go with her for months but it didn’t appeal to me. The plate in front of me actually looked like it was going to be good.

            “Great! I want to play a game.” He pulled a quarter out of his pocket.

            “What kind of game?”

            “I’m going to spin this quarter on the table.” He held it up and flipped it around. “If it lands on heads, you have to tell me one thing about you. If it lands on tails, I have to tell you one thing about me.” He put some sushi onto a plate and handed it to me. “Are you down?"

            I bit into the sushi and it was delicious. He smiled in satisfaction.

            “See, you need to trust me, Kenya.”

            “Okay, I’m down.” I picked the quarter up off the table. “But I get to spin it first.” I spun the quarter and it settled on tails. “Ha.” I pointed at him. “I’m listening.”

            “That’s not fair. I already told you I’m a lawyer and I moved here from Brazil. You owe me two things first to even the playing field.”

            “Fine! I work for my parents at their dental office and I’m an only child.” I took another bite of my sushi and wiped my mouth.

            “See, that wasn’t hard.” He bit into his sushi and spun the quarter. It landed on tails again.

            “Damn, I don’t think I like this game.” He handed me the quarter. “My best friend’s name is Elijah.”

            “Okay, missy spill it,” he said as the quarter dropped on heads. “Except this time, I get to ask you a question to answer.”

            “That’s not the rules,” I protested.

            “My game. My rules.” He picked up the quarter and placed it in his pocket. “What brought you to the club tonight? I mean, no offense, but you didn’t look like you wanted to be there.”

            “I didn’t actually.” The waiter removed the empty plate and refilled our water glasses. “I’m in a transitional period and my friends thought it’d be good for me to get out.”

            “Mind if I ask what kind of transitional period?”  He drank some of his water and wiped his mouth. “Never mind.” He shook his head. “I get it. We all go through it at some point.”

            His smile couldn’t disguise the glimpse of sadness I saw in his eyes. I knew that sadness all too well. I had been running from mine for years. He was inches away from me and in that moment, I wanted to feel his lips on mine. I leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were as soft as they looked. His fingertips moved up and down my arm slowly giving me chill bumps. This was exactly what I needed. One night with no strings attached.

            “Let's go,” I whispered.

            “Are you sure? We aren’t finished with dinner.”

            “Yes. Come on, before I change my mind.”

            He pulled out his wallet and dropped some cash on the table. My mind was screaming to turn around and walk away but there was something about him that wouldn’t let me.

            We stepped into the elevator along with an elderly couple. They were so engrossed in each other that they barely noticed us get on. I found it cute that she would giggle every time he bent down to whisper in her ear. I wanted that one day but for tonight, I needed to fill the desire of having a man’s body next to mine. Kevin and I grinned as we retreated to separate ends of the elevator to make room for other people getting on. The elevator ride was silent except for the smooth jazz coming through the speakers. The elderly woman smiled at me in the reflection from the interior of the elevator. She massaged her companion’s hand as the elevator stopped on their floor.

            “You two be good.” She said before the doors closed.

            When the elevator doors opened again, I followed Kevin down a long hallway and I could feel my nerves building.  He pulled out his room key and held the door open for me to walk inside. I stepped into a spacious living room with a view looking out so far that the stars disappeared into blackness. The lights dimmed and Luther Vandross’s voice came soaring through the air. At least I thought it was Luther’s voice until Kevin came up behind me.

            “Wow. Your voice is beautiful.” I stared at his reflection in the window. “What other talents do you have up your sleeve?”

            “I can show you more than I can tell you.” He kissed my neck and turned me around to face him. “You know you can stop this at any time, right?”

            “I know.” I traced the outline of his face with my finger. “I’m a big girl, Kevin. I know what I want.” I brought his head down to mine and kissed him. I parted his lips with my tongue and melted into him as our tongues intertwined. It was a sweet kiss that quickly turned passionate.

            “Relax.” He murmured against my neck and I felt his hand unzipping my dress. “Enjoy the moment. I want to see all of you.”

            He began humming and then started singing, let me hold you tight if only for one night, let me keep you near to ease away your fears, it would be so nice if only for one night.

            He pulled my dress up over my head and helped me shimmy out of my spanx. I searched Kevin’s face for signs of disgust. There wasn't any. The lust in his eyes turned me on even more. He moved his fingers over my bra and I instantly felt myself get moist. A low moan escaped my lips as he massaged me through my underwear. He gripped my waist pulling me in so close that his belt buckle poked into my stomach. The kisses he started planting on my neck elicited moans that were silenced once his lips met mine. The fact that I hadn’t had sex with anything but my vibrator in over two years had me ready to get it on. I fumbled to unbuckle his pants.

            “No.” He moved my hand. “This is about you.”

            He led me to the couch and removed my heels. His eyes never left mine as he massaged my feet and worked his way up my legs. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until he whispered.

            “Breathe, Kenya.”

            I laid back on the couch in anticipation of what was to come. I tried to burn into my memory as much of the night that I could. He unbuttoned his shirt and I reached out and rubbed my finger across the scar on his stomach.

            “What is this from?”

            “An accident.” He watched my face as he unbuckled his pants and kicked them off. He laid next to me and I savored the sensations my body was feeling as his tongue explored my breast. I also felt that familiar feeling of nausea. I squeezed my eyes shut praying that it would go away.

            “Kevin.” I groaned in agony. “Kevin.”

            “Yes, baby.”

            “Kevin, get up.” I pushed him off me and ran to the bathroom. I barely made it before the contents of my dinner went pouring into the toilet. He came into the bathroom behind me.

            “Here, drink this.” He poured some of the bottled water into my mouth.

            As soon as I swallowed it I heaved again into the toilet. “I’m so sorry.” I mumbled as he held my hair out of the way. “This is why I shouldn’t drink.” I said in between heaves.

            “It’s okay.” He grabbed a rag from the sink and wet it with cold water. “Hold this to your head. I’ll be right back.”

            I laid down on the cold marble floor with the rag on my head as he had requested. I was beyond embarrassed; I was mortified. I was confident that I wouldn’t be hearing from him again after tonight.