(excerpt from the Gully God Chronicles)
Part 1 : Full of Smoke
My first love was like smoke from a house fire. It caught me while I was asleep and nearly killed me. The batteries were dead in the smoke alarm and I only knew something was wrong when I started choking. That opened my eyes only to find that the world around me was burning faster than I could put out the flames. In the end, I had no choice but to jump out of the window. It was the best kind, the hottest type of passion that started the fire but I knew that in the end, it would become dangerous to kill me. In time, the burns from the fire healed but my lungs were still scorched from the smoke.
After that, I strictly took in all types of that good smoke that makes one mellow. Some I found around my way, basically homegrowns and domestics. Then I decided to branch out and try the foreign and exotic blends. I guess that could be considered the peace pipe era. No stress, no strings and not really much of a distraction. The only tricky part was keeping my lungs filled. There was no reason to hide anything and I was satisfied with that life. It was easy to keep my sanity and maintain the perfect balance between the soothing smoke and the fresh air.
Just as I was getting comfortable with my pleasant entanglements as opposed to relationships, I introduced myself to one of the deadliest types of smoke known to man. She was like cigarettes, a slow killer. Slow addiction that you never notice until you try to stop. It’s not a demanding type of smoke and it’s easy to keep with you for a long time. It helps you to relieve stress. You put it to your lips without a second thought but over time, that cigarette smoke shrivels your lungs. It makes you weak and prone to getting sick. I didn’t realize that the smoke from that cigarette was killing me slow until I tried to fly like I used to and found out that something as simple as me just being ME could leave me out of breath. Seven years and two months I held that cigarette smoke in my lungs until eventually, I let go of that nicotine addiction. (I still give cigarettes a try from time to time but I never buy packs anymore.)
Now, withdrawal from giving up those cigarettes had me fishing for trouble right after; basically a rebound situation. I was looking for the sexiest high to balance out the lows that only a person who has lost love knows. The problem was, everything I came across reminded me of crack. I never tried it myself but I know what it does to addicts who’ve inhaled the smoke of that demon. Therefore, I never started. I know all about the men who get hemmed up with deadly women who can’t be trusted, drape themselves in deceit and eventually cheat. But those men ignore their suspicions and common sense because her loving is sweet. I never ever breathe that type of smoke.
So, then I decided to take my time. I blow cigar smoke now when I need to ease my mind. Strong-willed women still try hard to make me marry but, the beauty of a good cigar is that I never have to inhale to enjoy the feeling of smoking.
***Of course, those of you who know me know that I’ll re-write this a million times until I get the right vibe. It can’t be helped. It is what it is & that’s how I do what I do.***
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