Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Welcome to my blog's 1st installment of "WRITER WEDNESDAY" where I feature other authors whose work I am impressed by. This week, I introduce you to KR Bankston, one of my co-authors on "Crossroads: An Anthology" Watch the trailer and please check out her work.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
All of This Ink
By Keith Kareem Williams
I joke all the time and say that my life is a movie every time something crazy or unusual happens. I've also realized that I'm the author of this screenplay. Every part of my life was written by me or my actions and I'm standing in the middle of my own library. You see, every book on these shelves was written by my own hand.
I've come to realize that with every action, I am actually writing the story of my own life. New words, sentences, paragraphs, pages, and chapters that eventually become entire books, each representing a different aspect of my life. It amounts to rows upon rows and aisles upon aisles of literature. I wrote every single one over the course of my thirty-five years here and the vastness of my library surprises me. There are some chapters that I'm proud of. I've been inspired to do great things a few times in my life. Then, there are volumes that represent pieces of my life that I wish I could toss in a bonfire and burn. Although it brings me great pain, I often re-read those books so I don't forget the lessons. I can't forget about the sections I wish I could edit and make corrections to but I only write in ink, not pencil. There are volumes filled with words and actions that I swear I wish I could take back. The finality of those pages reminds me that such thoughts are wasted on such silly things.
There are, of course, those chapters that document the lives I've lived with different people over the years. The section on love I find most interesting. I'll wait for the woman that can put a match to the other volumes on the shelves because only the ones dedicated to my life with her matter. Until then, I'll just keep writing.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Dark Twisted Fantasy
by Keith Kareem Williams
A few nights ago I had a strange dream that has continued to haunt my sleep, night after night, over and over again. I'm not quite sure what to make of it but it must represent a powerful aspect of something in my life if I can't shake it off. I try not to overanalyze the things I dream about because I have a naturally overactive imagination and my creativity often roars loudly in my subconscious. (In fact, it roars loudly in EVERY other aspect of my life as well *winks*) Everything starts in the mind.
The dream always begins with a naked woman taking a bath. Her head is leaned back and I am behind her, washing her hair. We talk but I can never quite hear the words that are passing through our lips. They are barely a whisper. After I am done with her hair, she hands me a sponge and I continue and I wash the rest of her body, slowly, paying attention to every curve.
***In the beginning, there isn't anything particularly interesting or unusual about the dream. This is where it gets strange.***
When I am done bathing her, the woman stands up with water dripping from her naked body and steps over the side of the bathtub to get out. This is where it starts to become unusual. On her body, she was covered in beautiful tattoos. That doesn't surprise me because I love sexy ink on a woman's body. The thing that caught my attention the MOST was the thin dragon tattoo wrapped around her thigh like a garter. Up until the point where I saw it, I realized that the entire dream I had been wondering if she was my woman. Once I noticed it, I knew for certain that she was. What's creepy is that she didn't have a face. It was blurred, almost as if it was censored so that I couldn't make out her features. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't see who she is. I could only FEEL who she might be.
In the first dream, she walks toward me and we kiss. If felt like she was drinking my soul as I could feel my heart racing in my chest. That time, for a split second, I could see her eyes and everything inside her mind. The next time I dreamed about her, we had sex and I could see her lips as she moaned. I couldn't hear any sound but I could read them as she said my name and asked for what she wanted. The very last time I dreamed about her, we had a fight. As embarrassing as it is to write about it, I have to admit that I lost, badly. I tried to hold her hands but she moved too fast. There was a strange thing about our "physical confrontation". The only place she continued to hit me, over and over was on my chest, right above my heart. She pounded on it until it stopped beating. In the dream, I thought I would die. I fell to my knees but she got down with me. She kissed me and it felt as if she breathed life back into me. Her face was still blurred but this time I could see her eyes, their color, and the tears that streamed from them. I don't know if she cried because I hurt her in some way or if she shed tears of joy because she saved me. Maybe it was a combination of both. Who knows?
Pretty strange huh? That’s just typical of my life where nothing is normal and everything is far from the usual, even the woman of my dreams.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Let Me Explain (Random Thoughts)
By Keith Kareem Williams
Attraction, curiosity and desire can be used as a deadly weapon in the right hands but its purpose depends on the plans of those hands. It can be hard to understand the motivation because most of the world is jaded. Everyone has been hurt it seems and most people will always be broken. Sometimes my instincts and not my logic rule my decisions. Certain situations are bound to be messy wrecks so I try to avoid those collisions.
As far as you and I go, I comprehend more than I pretend to. Trust me when I explain that I know exactly what you're worth too. You have to see that that's the reason I'm fighting to make sure that I don't hurt you. Yes, that's the truth, as crazy as it seems because I know that you're more worried about me. I respect it and think it's sweet but don't be. I've discovered the hard way that I can handle the worst things and move on if I need to. I know that everything isn't meant to be but I'm reckless enough to explore the possibility to the fullest degree. We've got our hands on the trigger so we might as well pull it without fear of the bullets.
I've always promised to give you the realest responses because I don't know what being fake feels like. I don't live that life. I move the way that I do for the sake of you. I know I haven't changed and I'm afraid to cause you any pain. Uncertainty is burning me and I'm not always 100% sure that you're the one who can tame me. It would hurt me if I made the mistake to make your heart break and then had to live with the fact that you'd blame me.
I've been on this earth for a while but at times it feels like the blink of an eye. I'm not sure anymore if I should seek happiness right at my feet or if I should try to fly to find it in the sky. I lost my way somewhere, haven't found my way back and I'm not exactly sure why. I just think that at some point, I have to believe in something. I just worry because I have this tendency in me to cause tears. With you, this is the only thing I fear.
But I'm just rambling with these random thoughts that spin through my head.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Tomorrow is a Myth
By Keith Kareem Williams
When I’m in your ear, this is what it sounds like…
Don’t worry about tomorrow because it won’t be missed. For tonight, as far as I’m concerned the future does not exist. I’m so buzzed and hard right now that in my mind, the day after today is sounding like a myth. Why should we sit here and worry about who’ll return whose call? I say we do what we both want to do tonight and not worry about it at all.
I can see you thinking it over. Everything I say makes perfect sense. I can see you fighting with the thoughts in your head because you’re conflicted. You’d like to make me wait but you know I’m not trying to hear it. You can feel that it’s now or never, get down while we’re hot or watch it get colder than December. You can hear your own heartbeat and you want a night to remember, something that stands out that wasn’t planned out. You want a memory that in the future, you’ll NEVER tell your man about.
You’re not exactly a tease. I can see that you’re dying to show off. You can’t wait to let someone else see what’s wrapped up and trapped up under it all. Don’t move so fast…Take it slow but yes….take those clothes off. Stand over there. I don’t want to touch you yet. Give me a minute to take it all in, even though I already know where the touching is about to begin. Just understand that the plans don’t start with me using my hands to meet your demands. You can see in my eyes that there’s not a doubt in my mind that I can.
Believe me, I’m not here to play with you. I just listen to your body language so I know exactly what to say to you. I want yours to learn the rhythm of mine. We need to do this right now and if tomorrow ever comes, we can both act surprised.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
By Keith Kareem Williams
She walked by and it was obvious that she was addicted to more than just nicotine. Her weight, her condition and everything about her made it obvious to me that she was a fiend. She moved with the flow of the people passing by but she marched to her own rhythm, lost in her own world that most people either ignored or scorned. Only the gatekeepers to her hellish false heaven were ever glad to see her coming.
I don’t know what made me stop her that day as people looked at me as if I was either crazy or shady. I explained to her that I was a writer, described the premise of my book and asked if she’d like to buy a copy so I could autograph it for her. As soon as I finished my speech, I felt foolish. I was sure that she didn’t have any money in the filthy pockets of her jeans or if she did, she damn sure wasn’t going to spend it on MY book. Still, I was glad that she politely listened to everything I had to say, which was more than what some of the “good citizens” would have done. It came as no surprise when she told me that she didn’t have the money to buy the novel at the moment but she wished that could have supported me. There was a glow in her eyes when she took my hand and told me how proud she was of me and how much nerve it must have took for me to stand out there and chase my dreams. Right before she walked away, she actually told me that although she didn’t know me, she loved me.
About an hour later, the same woman came back and handed me the money for my book. I felt bad to actually take her money because judging by her condition, she really couldn’t afford it. I also didn’t want to offend her so I did what I would do with any other supporter. I asked her name and how to spell it so that I could autograph the book for her. I couldn’t resist so just before she left with a copy of “Water Flows Under Doors” in her hand, I asked her how come she came back and bought it. She knew as well as I knew why I had asked. She turned to me and said that I had made her feel good because I’d treated her the same way I had treated everyone else. She explained that it had been a long time since anyone had respected her enough to speak to her the way I had. I guess it felt good that I had recognized her humanity.
There’s never a dull moment in the block. If you spend enough time out on these New York streets, you can feel the pulse, vibe and life of the city.
This is the novel that she purchased from me.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
What You Love
By Keith Kareem Williams
You love the things I say that eventually sit in your mind, possibly for days at a time or forever. You listen but you don’t hear what I whisper in your ear. If you did then it would be perfectly clear exactly what I’m doing here. You look forward to the “good morning” texts and the late night phone calls. You smile every time you get that mid-day call at your desk. It helps you get through that halfway point of your day. You love the fact that my words carry weight.
You feel safe because I’ve always been there, even when it seemed like no one else cared. I chased away just about everything that you feared. In your mind it’s undeniable that I’m reliable and always prepared to hold you down if needed. I’ve become what’s constant, expected or better yet a safety net. You’re comfortable with that because I haven’t failed you yet. I remember everything that THEY forget. In a world where we’re surrounded by the plastic and the fake, you can always reach out and touch me so that you know that this is real. I’m there when you cry and you can see in my eyes that I’ve never told you a lie…even the times when I knew the truth would hurt you. Even when it did you never complained because you knew I would find a way to make it go away. I’m the one who you run to when you need protection from your own circle.
The late night phone calls after the sun is long gone always mean that you’re calling for something that you need. Why me? I’ll tell you why. It’s because you’re sure I have it and you know that I know exactly what to do with it. You always decide to tease me and taunt me on the line, only to play with my mind. You want to make sure that I come see you so that I can prove what you already know. I have the talent to put that tingle in your spine and the buzzing in your toes, plus I know the nasty things you like to do that nobody else knows. Your secrets are the deepest but you feel safe because I know how to keep, each and every one of them. You say just the right words to manipulate the situation because on those nights you call, you’ve abandoned all forms of stimulation from masturbation. Your toys don’t feel the same as flesh & you can’t scream its name. You talk dirty on the line to open up the lane for me to drive you insane….for you it’s all a game. When I fall for it, it’s an ego boost for you because you believe that there’s no way you can lose it. “It” being exactly what you KNOW that I bring to the table. You think that is should be enough for me that you always choose me. Somewhere along the line you forgot that I’m really choosy. There’s really only one reason why you don’t want to lose me.
Basically, in every single way, I make you feel good in exactly all the areas that you feel that I should. This is why you linger. There’s only one problem with that. For me to stay, I only require that you love me right back. You don’t. It may seem, or sound like it but that’s not the case. If I ever made you feel bad you’d turn around and never look back. What you love is what I do to you and how I do it to you. You don’t love ME. The moment I stop making you feel good, you’ll be just about ready to leave. In my time here I’ve learned where that type of arrangement leads. It may seem like a tragedy but that’s the reason you don’t have me. You don’t love Keith, you don’t love Kareem and you haven’t looked deep enough to fall in love for real with Reem, no matter how it may seem.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
SHE Haunts Me
By Keith Kareem Williams
It’s funny how dreams, in all of their surreal and imagined glory can hold so much truth in them. Once interpreted, they tell the story of our desires and fears more honestly than our conscious mind.
I don’t believe that our bodies can physically travel through time but I wonder if our souls might be able to. Maybe our souls have been here and there before. That would explain those powerful moments of déjà vu when it seems as if you’ve lived that exact moment a few times before. I wonder if that’s our chance to do things differently because I’m sure that in one life or another, we got it all wrong.
All of these questions make me wonder if another person’s soul can travel in tandem with your life? I’m asking this because I’m wondering if this one particular person’s soul has been with me all along. If so, that would explain a lot. I mean, maybe the presence of her spirit is the reason I couldn’t love any of them the way they wanted me to. Maybe that unseen connection that SHE created is the reason why I was never that close to any of THEM. Maybe she selfishly haunts me just to keep me to herself. That would explain why I search, I seek, I hunt for what I’ve never had. It could be the reason why none of them seem like my answer. Maybe it’s HER rhythm in my bones that makes my heart beat to a different melody. I wonder if SHE borrows THEIR bodies when I make love and then abandons them when I’m done. That would explain why the same energy never remains once my passions are tamed. SHE could be the reason why they all seem the same.
SHE’S probably planning, plotting and maneuvering me into position to meet her physical so we can be what she believes we were meant to be. Sometimes I just wish she’d hurry up so I can stop feeling like I’m stuck. I wish she’d step into my life and stop living on that sliver of space between my dreams and my reality.