Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Beautiful Monster

This is a dangerous love affair to say the very least. I can see the light of God inside you but you can also be a beast. The pain that you walk around with makes you beautifully ugly, if that makes sense. Let me show you what I see.

When provoked, your hate is unrivaled and wild, impossible to stop. To be honest, your level of “mean” is almost unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Everything in me says to stay clear of your path because it’s not worth making a misstep and risking falling in the line of your wrath. It just doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t add up and it equals bad math. I know that you can be a monster but because you’re being you, you’re beautiful.

No, I’m not blind. The beautiful I see has nothing to do with your shape, your eyes or the wicked smile that will sometimes grace your face. There’s an aura, a vibe, or what I’d call a unique energy that envelops your space. It’s there even though, behind that smile lies teeth that can tear and maim along with a tongue that can break hearts.

Despite all of that, I can feel something else fighting to be free because you’ve trapped it for fear that it would make you weak. Despite you holding it in, I’ve seen it in your tears. I’ve felt it on my fingers every time that I wiped them away. It’s only the “pretty” that you try so hard to hide, that makes me want to stay so close to you.

I’m just a man. Trust me, I’m well aware that you have enough game to cause confusion in these lames but me? I’m not exactly the same. The only thing I can promise is that I’ll always try to do the best that I can to understand. I’ll try to ease the pain that you live with and that dark cloud over everything…I’ll lift it. I’ll take my chances that you’ll injure me because of all the hurts you might inflict. The only thing I ask is that you don’t destroy me.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Speed of Light Flight

Moving past so fast it seems like I'm traveling in light years. I guess that explains why it's so bright here. I'm polite here but some people don't fight fair. See me on another day when I might care and try harder to slow me down with something that I might fear. Loving every bit of this life, my own beautiful nightmare.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Pardon My Back

What are we talking about? Are we still dreaming, getting older every day and still talking about what we WANT to do one day? Are we running our mouths and not taking any steps to make it happen? Do we still have doubts about whether or not we have enough talent to make it happen? Are we still buying things to give the appearance that we’re making major moves when we’re really standing still? Are we still taking risks that could destroy our lives when we eventually get caught up? Are we online bragging all the time but if someone took a closer look those gems don’t really shine? Are we still trying to sound busy when we’re really, really bored? Oh, we’re still on that? Well then, I’m not co-signing THAT so please……… pardon my back!

Oh, so you’re here just to see what you can get? From afar you spotted and plotted on the potential although I’m not there yet? Or maybe you just want satisfaction and like the way I can get you wet? Think you can just whistle and I pop up with the sex pistol? Or maybe your mood is always blue and you won’t be satisfied until you infect me with it too? Maybe you’ve been hurt so much that you want to hurt me too? Do you have a mind of your own or do you need me to think for you too? Could it be that I’m so comfortable being me that you want to see if you can change me? Or, is the plan to prove that I’m just like every other man? Possibly, is it a fact that I might just be the latest toy? Or maybe I’m the challenge because I’m not as thirsty as the rest? Are you looking for flaws to convince yourself that I might not be the best? Do you want to put me to the test to wrest this thing out of my chest and make my life a mess? Can’t let you do that, so in advance, I gotta ask that you excuse me as I turn my back.

Are you mumbling and whispering gossip? Are you trying to turn fiction into real life facts? Are you tarnishing good people’s names in a petty attempt to gain some measure of fame? I bet you’re the villain dressed in a victim’s clothes. Are you starting fires, spreading rumors and pumping your own lies? Then you get caught in them, don’t stand by them, jump off the hot seat, pretending to cry? Are you really jealous over things that aren’t yours? You’re worse than a dog and you should walk on all fours. Attention-starved creep, I’ll never see you because I’ll never turn around. I rather keep people like you at my back.

Thought I was crazy when I said I’d make this work or die in the attempt? Oh, so you think I should have just been satisfied with the life I was lucky enough to have and be glad? You aren’t really a rider are you? Never really lifted a finger to help in any way, shape, form or fashion? Secretly hoped that I wouldn’t last, fall back and go back to doing what you do? Was it you that tried to sabotage the movement before it even started by quietly closing doors and believed I never saw? Doubted I was really ABOUT IT? You don’t believe in it? That’s cool. Just stand back and give me room. Don’t be offended when I turn around and chuck up the deuces.

I’ll only turn back around for the entertainment and satisfaction that the sick look on your face brings me. (Told y'all, I woke up in an ALPHA MALE mood today, complete with smashing the alarm clock and then beating on my chest!)

If You Let Me………

I would write you a love song but I couldn’t sing it to you the way I heard it in my mind. I wouldn’t want to cheat you. Instead, I do it my way and give you what you deserve, every word vividly visualized in my mind, the best way I know how to express it. I have a writer’s mind, vibe, spirit and soul……..to the very core of everything I am.

I want you to close your eyes, put your head on my chest, and listen to this story that I wrote. But, only if you’re willing make that choice, to lose yourself inside the sound of my voice. I want you to tell me if these words move you. I want to know if what I’ve written on this paper causes anything to stir inside you. If you have pain that’s locked away, I want these paragraphs to steal it. I’ll keep it safe, just in case you ever told me that you needed it. I want everything to tingle even though I’m not using my hands. I want these lines to feel like they’re etched on your flesh. Every sentence heightens your senses and you can imagine you’re trapped in this world I’ve created. I want you giggle too, when these characters do and their tears become your own when they grieve.

Then, I want you to open those eyes that I asked you to close. I need you to feel like every bit of prose became a mirror reflection of everything that is you. I want you to understand that everything you thought you locked away is something that I look deep enough inside you to notice every day. I see, I believe it and I know that it’s real. I can’t write you a love song but this is what I can do.


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Reconstruction of Reem

By nature, human beings are predators. We basically hold dominion over most things and anything that we don’t, we naturally strive to make sure that eventually we do. It’s clear, based on our history and the way we behave that we seek to control most things. Whatever we can’t control, we deem dangerous and attempt to destroy.

Evolution is a must if a person intends to survive in this world. Any organism that fails to adapt to its environment eventually become extinct. Since I pan to thrive and survive for as long as I can, occasionally I have to become something new. As I said before, human beings are predators. As such, they’ll even resort to cannibalism in this “dog-eat-dog” world. What choice does a person have but to avoid being destroyed or devoured?

Everyone has a motive, an angle, or an agenda if you will. As you get older, you’ll find that your peers have become craftier and more skilled in manipulating situations to their benefit. If you don’t shed certain child-like tendencies, you’ll be eaten alive in a world of sharks. Sound pessimistic doesn’t it? I promise you, it’s all true.

From time-to-time, I overhaul my perception of the outside world and reconstruct myself. It’s the survival instinct in me. At my very core, I always have been, and always will be, the same old Reem. As the strategies, tactics and weapons that will be used against me change, I have to become a “new me.” Otherwise, I’d run the risk of being manipulated and taken advantage of. Never. So, as I prepare to enter a new phase of my life, I’m currently under reconstruction in preparation for the foolishness I’m sure that I’ll have to face.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011



"The Muses: in Greek mythology, poetry, and literature are the goddesses who inspire the creation of literature and the arts. They were considered the source of the knowledge, related orally for centuries in the ancient culture, that was contained in poetic lyrics and myths. The compliment to a real woman who inspires creative endeavor is a later idea." - taken from Wikipedia

I used to think that the notion of someone being a “Muse” from a realistic standpoint was a myth. It always sounded to me like the ramblings of hopeless romantics when I heard them speak of being inspired in such a way, by such a person. Personally, I’ve always found ways to motivate myself when it came to my own creativity. (Keyword: Motivate) I say this because I’ve come to discover that motivation is very different from inspiration.

Every day my own ambition motivates me to be “better” at my craft. I believe that talent can only be honed, sharpened and mastered through hard work combined with discipline. I mistook that determination and drive for inspiration. I guess if you’ve never experienced something, there’s no way for you to understand it or even believe that it exists. I know better now. Motivation is what makes me get up every day and write. Inspiration is what takes the creativity in my writing to higher heights.

A muse is different from someone who gives encouragement. What a muse gives you is effortless and natural. Just the sight of them will make you write ten chapters, finish that painting or compose that song. Their presence is a blessing. The sound of their voice, the way they see the world, and the way they look at you makes you want to be better tomorrow than you were yesterday. I guess you could call it magic.

Glad I have mine.