In the middle of a rainy, gloomy day in Brooklyn…as I sit here sipping rum and waiting for a new shipment of books to get delivered, my mind wandered somewhere I wish it hadn’t. Not everyone you meet is going to have the same impact on you. Some people you meet and wish you hadn’t. Others are easy to forget and yet, there are a few who are dangerous for you because they can become addictions. Ain’t no liquor anywhere in the world that tastes better than her lips…ALL of them. None of the pillows in this bed are softer than her cheeks. I miss pressing my lips to them and on lonely nights I used to be overwhelmed with thoughts of when I might kiss them again. It’s easy to forget lovers and pretend that they never existed but hard to forget her because she was also a friend…someone to share dreams with but she was also there to chase away the fears brought on by nightmares. If I woke up in a cold sweat she’d touch my chest, calm my heart and help me to forget.
As I write this, I realize that she’s in my mind like a splinter as I think back on cold winters that she made feel like scorching hot summers. The addiction comes from knowing what it feels like to be loved…because once you know what it is…you WON’T accept less. To make me forget her…whoever comes next is gonna have to love me better...ALL the way….because I am only going to reject and abandon any half-measures.
Sometimes I think back and crave the days when she would feed my addiction…the way she looked in a dress that hugged all of her curves and the way she bit her bottom lip when I gripped her hips. You have to understand that it’s hard to forget the way she would moan my name and the way she let me have it, every way, especially on rainy days. Not every woman is the same. Some are dangerous like drugs because their substance is just different. This is why I ain’t into everybody because everybody AIN’T that. I need the kind of woman whose presence gets me higher than the best smoke. I want to inhale and feel her in my chest. I’m not even interested if she ain’t that. When we’re together we should both feel completely intoxicated…so far gone…love that lasts long...both strong…spending rainy days in bed.
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