DRUGS
In the middle of a rainy, gloomy day in
Brooklyn…as I sit here sipping rum and waiting for a new shipment of books to
get delivered, my mind wandered somewhere I wish it hadn’t. Not everyone you
meet is going to have the same impact on you. Some people you meet and wish you
hadn’t. Others are easy to forget and yet, there are a few who are dangerous
for you because they can become addictions. Ain’t no liquor anywhere in the
world that tastes better than her lips…ALL of them. None of the pillows in this
bed are softer than her cheeks. I miss pressing my lips to them and on lonely
nights I used to be overwhelmed with thoughts of when I might kiss them again.
It’s easy to forget lovers and pretend that they never existed but hard to
forget her because she was also a friend…someone to share dreams with but she
was also there to chase away the fears brought on by nightmares. If I woke up
in a cold sweat she’d touch my chest, calm my heart and help me to forget.
As I write this, I realize that she’s in my mind
like a splinter as I think back on cold winters that she made feel like scorching
hot summers. The addiction comes from knowing what it feels like to be loved…because
once you know what it is…you WON’T accept less. To make me forget her…whoever
comes next is gonna have to love me better...ALL the way….because I am only
going to reject and abandon any half-measures.
Sometimes I think back and crave the days when
she would feed my addiction…the way she looked in a dress that hugged all of
her curves and the way she bit her bottom lip when I gripped her hips. You have
to understand that it’s hard to forget the way she would moan my name and the
way she let me have it, every way, especially on rainy days. Not every woman is
the same. Some are dangerous like drugs because their substance is just
different. This is why I ain’t into everybody because everybody AIN’T that. I
need the kind of woman whose presence gets me higher than the best smoke. I
want to inhale and feel her in my chest. I’m not even interested if she ain’t
that. When we’re together we should both feel completely intoxicated…so far
gone…love that lasts long...both strong…spending rainy days in bed.
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