Welcome to the 1st post ever featuring a Guest Blogger on The Gully God Chronicles. I thought it was only right that it would be written by someone who is technically, not a professional writer but shows love and support to my entire movement. Ann follows my blog and supports my work. As you all know, I read all of the comments and respond to every one. (Not always right away but I make sure that I do.) Ann's comments on the posts always stood out to me and even though she isn't an author, I believe that she has potential to be. I invited her to be a guest blogger and this is what she sent. Enjoy.
Hello! I'm Ann- a follower on your blog and huge fan of your work (You said to hit you up if I wanted to do a guest blog post sometime).
I have been debating whether I could write a blog post, not being a writer. While reading "Sometimes Brooklyn, Mostly Mars" I realized yet again that we have some echoed experiences relating to that thin line between love and hate. So I decided just maybe I have something to put into words. Not sure what you had in mind but here's something that flowed from me. Let me know what you think. You can't hurt my feelings- I always prefer honesty."
"I once loved a man so much I gave him my all; that's right all of me. I gave him all my love, my heart. I gave him all my body, my sexuality. I gave him all my beliefs, my opinions. I gave him all my personality, my spirit. I gave that man respect, then all my self-respect; support, then all my confidence; warmth, then all my comfort. I gave. I gave until there was nothing left but a shell of the woman I once was; a mirage of the woman that fell in love with that man. Then….He left!
My world came tumbling down around me. In the shower, in the car, at work, at home, with my kids, in bed; a constant falling apart; a painful- no an excruciating falling apart. I was lost in a world full of people. I was lost, no longer a person I recognized. No hopes, no dreams, no ideas, no drive, no desires, even the past was empty(blank) as if it had been wiped away.
Years went by and I was stuck in that spot; self-destruction in slow motion, but no knowledge of self to save, to ask for help, just going through the motions, barely... Until I couldn't rise up one more day to play the game called life. It was me...hitting "bottom," deciding to live or die.
I lived. I am alive.
I once loved a man so much that I gave him all of me. Now I'm back, better than ever. Not the woman whose past was surreal, but a woman with a painful past experience, with many lessons learned. Now I am reinventing myself each moment of each day. My life is all hopes, all dreams, all ideals, all opinions, all desires and all looking to the future without forgetting the past. When I hit bottom I was blessed to find my ground zero in God and like the Phoenix I rose from the ashes more alive than ever before. I know who I am and who I'm not. I know what I want and what I don't. I know what I can and will put up with and what I won't. I am not going to lose me again- to love a man. I'll love and love completely but only where I can remain 'me'.
If you are living for someone else STOP NOW! You are only erasing the person you are or oppressing the person you could be. Save yourself for the real love who will enhance you not absorb you."
Sent from my iPhone
Let's see, what do I think? Hmmm? And you said you're not a writer huh? Since you prefer honesty, I'll be honest. I think you should be thinking about writing more often. Good job. Again, thanks for following the blog and for sending this in.