Blame Game

Whose Fault is it Anyway?


I guess the question would be, “Whose fault is ALL of this?” in regards to how some of my past relationships have gone sour, withered and died? Well, I never run much or been afraid to answer the hard questions. I’ve always embraced my imperfections and my humanity even when others haven’t and did everything but verbally proclaim their perfection. Because of this, I’ll take the blame solely on my shoulders. Why not? If you let them tell it, it was my fault anyway.

Through the course of our relationship lives, we’ll ALL encounter people who will hurt us. Every hurt will leave scar, some deeper than others. Some completely blame themselves while others blame everyone else for things falling apart. The reality is never to the far left or the far right. Truthfully, it’s usually somewhere in-between. After the smoke clears in the war games that are relationships, the dust settles and then, the walls go up.

As people become jaded, they build walls and swear to never let anyone ever get close again. Every disappointment only makes them add bricks and defenses. Before they know it, the wall isn’t serving the purpose they built it for. What they create is their own prison. The beauty of it is that they don’t even need guards. In graffiti written on the outside is name of every person they blame for everything that ever went wrong in their lives. Most of the time, you’d notice that they’ve never added themselves to the mural of misery.

There was always something you could have done to improve a bad situation, even if that meant leaving it alone completely, at that moment when you knew that you should have. Everyone has stayed for the wrong reasons when the right reasons to leave outweighed the madness. Most people rather stay than risk the scars that are always left after the wound heals. Circumstances usually force them out of their situations. Then, fear takes over and walls get built.

All I have to say is this:
While some of you build walls and hide your hurts on the inside, I wear my wounds on the outside with a smile. I take pride in showing off the wounds to let people know that I did heal. It’s better than letting my life bleed out while I hide myself behind walls. I come across people who choose to imprison themselves all the time. Yeah, I could toss grenades and eventually make a hole big enough for me to stay but I choose to say goodbye. As I make my exit, here’s another brick for your wall.