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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father’s Day by Keith Kareem Williams

Happy Father’s Day


By Keith Kareem Williams

Father’s Day 2011 began for me officially as soon as I stepped out of my bedroom this morning. My son and daughter raced down the hallway, bear-hugged me and nearly knocked me down as I stumbled sleepily to the bathroom. To be loved is an amazing feeling. Even after al of the scolding, discipline, “frustrated dad faces” and all, they still view me as the best father alive. (They told me so themselves) To be loved unconditionally is inspirational and moves the soul.

These moments are times that I have to cherish. I’m sure there will come a day when they’re both busy with their own adult lives. I understand that a time will come when they won’t be able to take the time and effort to make six different Father’s Day cards by hand, just to make sure that they express every good feeling that they have for their dear old dad. There will be a time when it will be greeting cards from the pharmacy and pleasant phone calls instead…maybe even just emails or text messages. That is why I make sure I store these moments safely away in the sacred vaults of my memory. There will come a time when they’ll be worth more than any treasure. These are the day that will be more valuable than the total sum of the days that will be left in my life, if I’m fortunate enough to make it to old age.

Yes, I’m a single-father so I receive praise for it….praise that I don’t necessarily feel that I deserve. If I had abandoned my children I would not have been a man. To leave their lives to random chance would have made me inhuman. I understand why I’m viewed as special for my status. There are too many scumbags who don’t care enough about their children in the world. I just feel that I’m only doing what I SHOULD be doing. Both of my children are pieces of me. They are my immortality and the Heaven that is closest to me.

What’s amazing is how both my children love me, in spite of my imperfections, Make no mistake, they may be very young and may never express it to me directly but they know I am flawed. (All children know their parents are) No one has ever, or will ever, know me better than my children.

I appreciate the way they see me for many reasons. I try my best and I’m grateful for the credit everyone gives me for it but I am also my own worst critic. I’m brutally honest with myself. As much as I have a positive influence on their lives, I also recognize that there are areas where I have failed them. I’m proud that I’ve managed to take care of them on my own but I don’t necessarily wear the title of “single-father” as a badge of honor. Children deserve a father AND a mother. They suffer as a direct result of decisions I have made as well as my flawed judgment. There are a million ways that I could have handled things differently I blame myself for more than anybody that ISN’T God would ever understand. The best I can do now is be the father that they need and pray that it is enough. It is not all bad though. Along my journey, “LIFE” has put many surrogate moms, godmothers and female guardian angels for them into my life that I know they’ll be fine. Even some of my crazy ex’s would throw down their lives for my babies. Even though I couldn’t get along with THEM, I’ll always love them for that. Those are remnants from a time when I was desperate to provide a mother figure for them. I’ve learned my lesson though. Any woman that knows my children personally should understand how important she must be to me to have earned that.

Like I said earlier this week, as far as the praise and accolades for my writing goes, I cherish it. It lets me know that I’m on the right path. It feeds my ego constructively and fuels my talent. However, as far as “bottom lines” go, I’m mainly in this financially to create revenue for my children that will outlive me. A job won’t do that. No salary on earth will do that. Once I’m gone, that’s it. The source of the money would die with me. With my novels, screenplays etc. even when I’m cold in the ground, residual income and royalty checks will be my legacy to help them along in life. (Sometimes grown women don’t understand my drive.)At their young age, my children understand what I do. It echoes and resonates whenever they speak about me. I’m proud of that. “My dad the writer” is the title that I claim like a badge of honor because my kids don’t look outside our doors, desperate for role models. I’m not sure if I have the hang of being a husband or even a good boyfriend. (I’m too neglectful. LOL) The daddy thing is what I’m more concerned with. I sleep at night with the feeling that I’ve done something right.

PS, I'd like to say that I love everyone who wished me a Happy father's Day today. I appreciate each & every one of you who called, sent a text, inboxed me, tweeted me, emailed me or posted a message on my Facebook wall. Today was a good day & you helped make it that way.

5 comments:

  1. wow its awesome how you could describe your feelings your thoughts so clearly that u can never b misunderstood you entrance me with your insight and your understanding of yourself !!!

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  2. Thanks for the father's day greeting as well as the feedback "Mr Lonely" I'll check your blog out as well.

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  3. Thanks Janette. I try my best to use this blog to let people know how I'm feeling from time to time with raw honesty. Thanks for stopping by and checking it out.

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  4. Reem, you know I have the utmost respect for you and what you do. In my opinion, Father's Day is everyday for honorable men such as yourself. I'm sending you more Father's Day love. I hope that you are still floating on a cloud from all of the love and appreciation for who you are. I love ya all to pieces, my friend! <3

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  5. Thanks Kenya, Love you to pieces too. You're one of the best people I've had the pleasure to meet and become friends with.

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