ReemAfterDark: All of Her

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

All of Her

“Why not take ALL of me?” she asked me with tears in her eyes and as she cried, my heart began to bleed in my chest.

She told me to take her eyes because after what we shared, she never see the world the same if we weren’t together. For her, to be apart would be the same as draining away all of the colors that she had become so accustomed to seeing brighten up her days. Even with those big, beautiful eyes she just couldn’t see that everything had already started to turn gray for me.

She asked me to take her lips because if it wasn’t me, there was no other man that she wanted to kiss. She tried to tell me that she had no use for a voice that wouldn’t tell anyone else that she loved them and truly mean it. What she didn’t know was that I knew that I would never love another woman the way that I loved her either. She was only one that understood the true meaning behind every line of black ink in my tattoos and the truth in every drop of ink spilled to create chapter after chapter of my books. I was in love with her pain, her joy, the depth of her thoughts and the lightness of her soul. To me, she felt like something from a dream that would be gone whenever I finally woke up. I had grown so accustomed to the worse that I couldn’t find a way to believe in the best, even as I held it in my hands.

In the end, I was afraid of her because to love her the way that I did was to risk my own death if she ever left, so I foolishly walked away first. I couldn’t have been more wrong when I thought that leaving her would have hurt less. To this day I can honestly say that a sunset doesn’t go by when I don’t feel the full weight of that decision in my chest. I can’t even describe the pain and if I’m being honest, I’ve never quite been the same.

I remember when she said that I might as well take the rest of her because there wasn’t going to be much of her left for any man that came after me. I suppose the tragedy is that I took most of her and left behind most of me, even if she doesn’t know that I did.