Wednesday, August 22, 2018

YOU - Volume 1


YOU
Recently…
I finally realized…
That I’ve been writing…
To YOU…
For YOU…
And about YOU…
For a very long time.

I usually don’t have much patience but here I am, waiting for YOU to stop being afraid that I might not be everything YOU see in me. I told YOU once that if you could read my mind, YOU would be either hopelessly confused or, in love with me from now until YOUR last days. Sometimes it feels like this is OUR last chance so I hope the last part is true because I’ve never wanted to confuse YOU.
Even though YOU won’t tell me, I feel as if YOU really do understand parts of me that no one else does. YOU are the only one who is willing to tell me when I’m going against the core of who I really am. YOU’VE never apologized for telling me the truth as you see it and YOU never will. YOU don’t make me feel guilty for being me, or thinking the way I do. That’s why I can be completely open and honest with YOU.
I’ve spent too much time thinking about what could have been. Maybe if I had said everything I should have said while in YOUR presence…things might have been different. I feel like the clock keeps ticking ruthlessly and I feel like time is against me but before it runs out, I want to make sure I show YOU how I feel. YOU once said that what’s supposed to be will be and I trust the truth in that. The universe will sort out the rest. There were times when I believed that YOU might be the one to finally show me how it’s supposed to feel when it’s real.

And even if WE never become what we could be…
I hope YOU still smile whenever YOU think of me…
Because I know I’ll smile every time I think about YOU…
From now until I’m gone…
But I want YOU to know…
That if I had it MY way…
YOU’D be sitting in my lap with YOUR arms around me while I write these chapters…
And as soon as I’m done…
YOU’D give me more to write after everything we’d say and do for the rest of the night.

In the meantime…
I’ll just keep writing these love letters masquerading as books.

P.S., YOU’RE still my muse.


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